Journal #2

Well... 17 days :)

Feels like it was just 2 days ago that I was sitting in my room counting the days and it was 200 and some days. Time is flyyying!

I went shopping with my dad, mom, and sister, Sarah, earlier this week. Before we left Columbus we went into this Christian bookstore and this song called "You are More" was playing. I made a note in my phone to make sure I downloaded the song as soon as I got home cuz I absolutely LOVED the song. So here's the video for the song- you need to watch it. It's amazing- 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwtcwQwgdsA

The first time I watched this video I just sat there crying. The song is so touching. And I really feel like it could easily explain my life to a T. So many times I've found myself asking "How did I get here? I'm not who I once was." And then I'd try to do better, I knew all the answers- but then I'd be too weak to try. I listened to the lie that people don't change. I believed that all that mattered was what I'd done, where I'd been, and the terrible shame I felt. I was honestly crippled by fear. Fear to really try to change. But then the unfailing love of my God would surround me and remind me of all the things He'd done for me. And I'd realize that I am more than just the choices I make, more than my past mistakes, more than the problems I've created. I've been remade. And can I even begin to try to explain the joy that would fill my heart? The peace that would surround me when I realized that it was not about what I'd done- but what Jesus had done for me. That it wasn't about where I'd been- but about where my brokenness had brought me. It wasn't about the shame I felt- it's about the love that Jesus felt to forgive me. It was about what Jesus felt to make me feel LOVED. And let me tell you- being loved by Jesus is enough to make me forget my past and push forward to a better future :)

So yeah- this isn't really about my trip to Africa- but it's something I'll carry with me to Africa :) If you ever feel alone, broken, shameful, hopeless- don't. Don't believe it when you hear it said that people can't change. People can and people DO change. You've been remade. And you never have to go back to who you used to be.

"Though our hearts are filled with sins, you forgive them all” (Psalm 65:3). 
"...It is testimony to the strength of love, the power of faith, and the truth that people can change."
-George W. Bush ♥ (LOVE him!!!)


xoxoxo :) Bethany Diane Joy

Ps: I’m currently eating salt & vinegar chips- I’m really gonna miss these things while I’m in Africa :(